A Knight and His Squire
by Yuvon Silon Rahvok
Summary: Kagura attempts to hook Carl up with the various ladies of Blazblue… to varying degrees of success. Rated M for later chapters.
1. Prologue

Kagura Mutsuki was _not_ in a good mood today. Ever since the defeat of Relius Clover and the reformation of the NOL, the new Imperator (Noel Vermillion) had cracked down _hard_ on sexual harassment in the workplace, especially when it involved the infamous Black Knight. Seriously, it wasn't his fault that Makoto was so damn hot! It wasn't like the beast kin was a particularly chaste woman either, he knew she'd been involved in at least a dozen sexual exploits with the various males (and females) in the city of Kagutsuchi before (not to mention what she might have done back home in Shinatsu before attending the military academy). Hell, he'd even managed to get her into bed once already (never mind how sore he was the next morning)! But _no_ , Makoto didn't _want_ to deal with _his_ "constant molestation" anymore! Honestly, was a good groping of those magnificent breasts of hers' really too much to ask for?! Now he had to deal with avoiding a possible demotion, _and_ try to get his subordinate to let him bed her again! Could this day get any worse?

"Well hello there Colonel. Long time no see." Fuck. His. Life. Carl Clover, former vigilante and the new First Lieutenant of the Intelligence Department just _had_ to walk into the exact same strip club where he happened to be taking refuge. Someone up above really hated him today. To put it bluntly, Kagura and Carl did _not_ like one another. Carl saw his superior officer as a no good Casanova with a tendency to force himself onto unwilling women, while Kagura saw the younger man as an annoying brat who could stand to lose his uptight and often arrogant demeanor.

"What the hell do you want Clover?" The severity in Kagura's tone made it quite clear that he was in no mood to be fucked with. Too bad for him that Carl was his father's son, and thus immune to the intimidation tactics of most individuals (the exceptions being most females, who Carl was very quick to avoid confrontation with if at all possible).

"Oh nothing, just decided to reward myself with a night out for working so hard lately."

" _Bull. Shit"_ Kagura was more familiar with the young man's habits than he'd like to admit, but even the most moronic of all individuals knew that Carl always preferred to be alone in his home rather than have a night on the town. The puppeteer had been in a sort of self-imposed exile ever since the destruction of Nirvana and Ignis in the final battle of the war against his insane father. The most social contact he'd had in recent years had been in the NOL (which he'd joined two years ago at the age of nineteen) and the constant visits of his old schoolmates and a handful of other individuals (Bang and Amane {who had been trying desperately to get Carl to reconsider becoming part of their respective groups}, and occasionally Litchi {who had been handpicked by the young man to be his physician}) during his time spent mourning his losses. As far as the Colonel knew, Carl had _never_ really enjoyed social activities that involved any of the things that made life enjoyable. So a strip club was _definitely_ not the kind of place that Carl would choose to go as a "reward". Something was fishy about this whole scenario, and he was not going to let the Clover get away without finding out why he was here.

"Tell me the real reason you're here kid, who sent you? The Imperator? Kokonoe? Maybe even Makoto?" Kagura was sure that the blonde was here to get some sort of dirt on him. They'd shared a mutual dislike of one another since they met, so if anyone was willing to help the girls bring him down a notch, it would be him.

"Calm down Mutsuki, I'm just here to enjoy myself." Carl spoke with a neutral, almost sad look in his eyes. Kagura began to doubt that the kid was here to mess with him. But if he wasn't here to gather evidence against him, then why _was_ he here?

"Spill. If you're not here to try and take me down a peg, then what do you want? It's not like you could actually enjoy yourself in this kinda place." Kagura quirked a brow, clearly curious as to what the younger man was doing here.

"Oh really, what makes you say that?" Carl now locked eyes with his superior, silently challenging the older man with his firm gaze.

"You're too shy and chaste for the dancing, you hate loud noises and crowds, and you've had a stick shoved up your ass since the day you were born." Kagura spoke evenly, being completely honest with what he thought of the kid's attitude.

"Well maybe I'm sick of being so predictable." Carl sounded irritated now, clearly displeased with what he was hearing. Unfortunately for him, Kagura was in a similarly bad mood.

"Well maybe if you actually kicked back and had yourself a good time, you wouldn't be so easy to read."

"Maybe if people like you would learn to keep your criminal behavior in check, I wouldn't have to be so careful all the time!" Carl had stood and slammed his hands onto the bar top, his face twisted by raw fury and his voice raised to maximum volume.

"Well maybe you're just too goddamn uptight to know what a _real_ good time is!" They were in each other's' faces now, the bartender and some of the other patrons eyeing them warily. One man even had a communication ars prepared, ready to alert the authorities should they need to take action.

"Sirs, I'm afraid that I'm going to have to ask you to either sit down or leave. I won't have either of you causing any unwanted trouble. Understood?" Carl and Kagura simultaneously turned their irate gazes upon the poor barkeep, who shivered in fear at the intensity of both men's glares.

"Whatever."

"As you wish." Both men lowered themselves slowly back onto their stools, obviously dissatisfied with the recent turn of events.

After sitting in silence and cooling down for five minutes, Kagura sighed in reluctance and broke the silence.

"Why?"

"Hmm?" Carl looked up, his expression confused but once more carrying a melancholy undertone.

"Why are you here? It isn't like you to come to places like this." Kagura locked their gazes once more, clearly intent on getting an answer this time around.

"Don't talk like you think you know me. You don't know a damn thing Mutsuki." Carl's eyes hardened as he leveled another glare at the Colonel. Internally thinking about beautiful women to keep his anger in check, Kagura tried to coax the younger Intelligence agent into giving him a civil conversation at the very least.

"Look kid, your Ragna impression is cute and all, but that's not what I'm interested in. I know more about you than either of us would like to admit, and I'd like to know what a gentlemen like you is doing in a perverted place like this." Kagura spoke sincerely, and if he was being honest with himself, he was actually worried about his subordinate. Seeing him in such an out of place setting put a bad taste in his mouth.

"So, even you didn't remember…" Carl looked down sadly, tears beginning to form in the corners of his eyes.

"What are you talkin about kid?" Kagura was very concerned at the moment. Believe it or not, he did actually feel some sympathy for the younger man, having felt partially responsible for his suffering seeing as it had been Kagura himself who had destroyed what little remained of Carl's mother inside that doll her husband had bound her to. To see him so vulnerable… was almost enough to make him offer the kid a ride home just to make sure he was safe. But he wasn't that sort of man, so he simply waited for a response from the emotional youth.

"Today's my 21st birthday, and no one bothered to remember it…" Oh. _Ooohhh._ That explained why he was in such a bad mood, Kagura actually felt guilty for once. The big two o' one didn't exactly come around again, so no one should have to spend theirs alone. Even if they were total stiff necks like Carl.

"… So here I am, I'm here to get drunk, watch some women dance for my pleasure, and then go home to brood and wait for the hangover to hit me in the morning. Does that satisfy your curiosity Sir?" Carl spoke the last word with a hint of venom, obviously still angry with the older man. Kagura began to think long and hard as Carl ordered a Bloody Mary, trying to find a way to make the blonde's night enjoyable.

" _Not even you deserve to have such a shitty birthday kid, no matter how much you and I hate each other's guts…"_

"Hey kid, you up to a little competition?" Kagura smirked, Carl was already tipsy after his first drink (not surprising given that Clovers had a reputation for being light weights) and definitely wouldn't be able to handle the challenge that he was about to lay down.

"What s-so- *Hic* sort of c-competition?" Carl swayed in his seat, his unfocused eyes doing their best to stay locked with the Colonel's.

"I wager that I can drink you under the table in ten minutes." Carl snorted, and let out a slurred "You're on!" before ordering a shot of Tequila as Kagura did the same.

 **Half an hour later…**

He'd been wrong, it had only taken _seven_ minutes for the younger man to pass out. Kagura took this rare opportunity to observe the peaceful Clover. He was actually quite the looker (an outright knockout really), and could have easily gotten himself laid quite a while ago if he so pleased, but what would he want to do that for? As far as Carl seemed to be concerned, sex was only something that should be done when the participants were in love, and casual intercourse seemed to make him uncomfortable very easily. Kagura had known since his confession what was really causing the kid grief; he was lonely. It was painfully obvious really, he'd been in his bitter and closed off state since the "death" of his sister almost seven years ago. What Carl truly needed, whether he liked it or not, was a companion. Someone to be there for him, to love him unconditionally and allow him to do the same. He needed a lover who didn't mind him being clingy or possessive, and he in turn required his partner to make him feel loved, to hold him close and promise to never let go. It was settled. Kagura Mutsuki was going to get Carl Clover a girlfriend, no matter what it took.

…Too bad for him that practically all of the women who could handle the young Lieutenant absolutely hated his (Kagura's) guts. Kagura was going to need to be very persuasive with them in order to get his desired results, not to mention how much work it was going to be to actually get Carl to consider putting himself out there. But by the end of it, the Colonel was certain that he was going to be thanked by the happy couple. Hell, they might even make him godfather! But first he would have to actually explain his plans to the kid and get him to go along with him on this.

"Hibiki." Kagura's loyal servant instantly dropped from the ceiling, ready to do his master's bidding.

"Yes sir?"

"Take the kid home, I'll pay for the drinks. Listen closely to what I'm about to tell you, I want you to relay this to the kid as soon as you're done helping him with his hangover. Tell him to come see me immediately when you're done. Got that?"

"Understood sir, what's the message you wish for me to relay to him?" Kagura whispered his plan into Hibiki's ear, the servant's face took on a stern look.

"Are you sure that you can pull this off?" Hibiki watched his master closely, unwilling to allow the pitiful boy to be hurt by his lord's scheming.

"Trust me, I'm a professional. I'll have him in a happy relationship in no time." Kagura bore his trademark smirk, practically oozing confidence from his every pore.

"Very well, sir. I'll have a list of compatible suitors ready by sunrise. I'll deliver them to you when I'm done with the boy." With that, Hibiki gathered Carl's limp form and vanished, much to his master's chagrin.

" _I don't need a list! Whatever, as long as the kid's happy… I really hope he appreciates this."_

 **AN:** I am SO sorry for the poor quality! I'm just very depressed… You see, I googled Carl x Makoto doujinshis again, only to come up with nothing but the usual harem and oc x Makoto hentai. Hell, I even came across one that had Makoto using sex to keep Noel from being court martialed! So, I'm making an official (and very desperate) plea to all artists behind the Blazblue hentai doujinshis; PLEASE MAKE A CARL X MAKOTO DOUJIN! Seriously, I'd make one myself… but my artistic skills are crap. Hell, I'd sell my soul just to get _one_ doujinshi about this adorable couple, I'm not even sure why there isn't one already. I mean, it's not exactly hard to draw Carl older if it's the age gap you're worried about…

Anyways, thanks to Deviljho's Hatred and NoOneImportantHere for their comments and advice, and to Taromaru and Kicklash for their favs and follows, you people are really brightening my days! This is the second installment of my "Mentor" series, if you couldn't already tell. I'm taking a brief hiatus to write a one shot in which Carl gets a shiny new (or are they old?) pair of Spectacles… But don't worry, this and my other fics will get written within a reasonable time, I assure you. I hope to improve upon this story in particular, seeing as this first chapter is probably very disappointing to most of you. Until next time, R&R please!


	2. Author's Notice

The infamous Black Knight of Love leaned casually against the wall, despite being pinned there by multiple adamantium chains.

"Yo, how ya doin ladies?" Kagura winked, "The author has told me that he'll be taking a vacation in order to get over a bad case of burnout, but don't worry. I'm always available if you're looking for a good time."

Carl sighed tiredly, "In any case, this means that he sadly won't be updating for a while, so please be patient. If you have any advice that could help accelerate his recovery, please either PM him or leave the advice in a review. He would also like inform all trolls that only _one_ flame will be allowed per chapter from here on out, this isn't YouTube. So if you're going to insult him, please do so with some intelligence as you only get one shot from now on."

"Thanks for stealing my spotlight Clover, now about that little plan of mine…"

"You can forget it. I refuse to allow you to interfere with my love life. I'm perfectly happy thank you very much." Kagura rolled his eyes as Carl glared at him.

"Yeah, cause everyone knows that brooding all the time makes ya happy. Seriously, just give me a chance kid. I'll have you set up with Miss Right in no time!"

*Transmission cuts out as Carl begins to rant about how he is perfectly content with being single (even though we all know he just needs some lovin)*


	3. Chapter One

Carl Clover groaned as he awoke, his head throbbing dully as an after effect of the previous night's alcohol consumption. He attempted to sit up, but found himself pushed down by a surprisingly firm hand.

"I wouldn't advise any sudden movement, you should allow yourself some time to recover first. Here, drink this." Carl was surprised to see the Mutsuki family servant, Captain Kohaku sitting at his bedside patiently and holding a mug of what smelled like tea out to him with a gentle smile.

"Captain Kohaku? What on earth are you doing here?" Carl was quite perplexed, he could think of no viable reason for Colonel Mutsuki's faithful aide to be in his chamber. He was even more surprised to realize that his glasses were already resting on the bridge of his nose, and that all the curtains had been shut save for a few small openings to faintly light the room.

"The Colonel asked me to assist you in dealing with your hangover Lieutenant Clover. It's your first, correct? Now I really must insist that you drink this, it will get rid of those nasty side effects in no time." Hibiki had now moved the mug directly in front of Carl in such a way that the fumes could directly affect his nostrils. Eyeing both the concoction and the servant warily, Carl proceeded to drink the brew slowly. His eyes widened in surprise as he felt the rejuvenating effect of the remedy begin to manifest in his tired body. In mere moments he felt the fuzziness clearing from his vision, his headache fading from his consciousness, and the overall fatigue within him was being replaced with fantastic amounts of vitality.

" _Incredible! I haven't felt this lively in ages, what could have possibly been in that concoction? It must be quite potent, perhaps the Captain will tell me the recipe."_

"Captain Kohaku, pardon my asking, but what was in that tonic? I mean no offense, and I must say that I am very thankful for your assistance." Carl allowed a small smile to grace his lips as he spoke.

"I apologize Lieutenant, but I am not at liberty to divulge such information, it is an old family secret known only to those of the Mutsuki bloodline and their most trusted servants. I see that you are feeling better now, so there is something that I would like to discuss with you on the Colonel's orders." The older man's face became solemn as he spoke, obviously whatever he wanted to discuss was quite serious.

"Captain Kohaku, it's been a long time since I've seen you this serious, what is it? Has something happened to the Imperator? Has Sector Seven been compromised? Has my father escaped?" Carl's expression had gone from content to grim in a matter of seconds, his voice was thickly coated with anxiety as his eyes became the cold and calculating orbs that had been his father's defining feature.

"No, I'm afraid that it is something of a more… intimate nature." His superior looked a little uneasy, he wondered what he meant, "The Colonel has big plans for you First Lieutenant Clover." In an instant Carl's expression went from curious to indifferent, clearly no longer interested in whatever his superior had to say.

"Is that so? And is this an actual order or more of a friendly suggestion?" Carl's voice held an icy undertone that was very reminiscent of a certain Major.

"Anything the Head of the Duodecim says becomes an order no matter how misguided it seems to be." Hibiki said the last part with the slightest hint of sarcasm evident in his voice.

"So I don't really have a choice in the matter." Carl pushed up his glasses slightly, and locked his guarded eyes with the Captain's firm if slightly apologetic stare.

"No, you do not." Carl let out a brief sigh of resignation and took a few short breaths.

" _I may as well get this over with now, otherwise I'll have to deal with Captain Kohaku breathing down my neck for god knows how long."_

"...Very well. What are the Colonel's "big plans" for me?" Hibiki took a moment to prepare himself, this was going to be quite awkward for the both of them.

"The Colonel has taken a personal interest in your love life and wishes to help you find a suitable partner." Hibiki spoke swiftly and honestly, favoring the blunt approach as there was no way to be subtle about the issue.

Carl tensed and his eyes narrowed slightly as he took in the rather upsetting news.

" _Of all the people in the world to choose from, why did he have to pick me to be his personal project? I don't have nearly enough time nor the patience to deal with this tomfoolery. Besides, we hate each other. Why is he doing this? I suppose that there is only one way to find out."_

Sighing in irritation the blonde closed his eyes and took a deep breath in order to compose himself and returned his gaze to the servant shortly thereafter.

"Captain Kohaku, am I correct in assuming that you will follow me wherever I may go until I agree to meet with Colonel Mutsuki?" Hibiki grinned pleasantly.

"That is correct Lieutenant. So what shall you do with this knowledge?" Hibiki allowed a hint of relief to color his voice. He was pleased to see that his subordinate was willing to be civil about the whole affair.

Carl chuckled bitterly, "I don't suppose that I can simply ignore a summons from the mighty Black Knight now can I?"

Hibiki once more donned an apologetic grin as he nodded once. Words wouldn't be necessary on his end anymore.

"Well then, give me a moment to get dressed for the occasion. What are those?" Captain Kohaku had presented him with a set of clothes from seemingly out of nowhere. Laughing in genuine amusement with an honest to god (albeit very small) smile on his face, Carl took the clothing and proceeded to get up and prepare himself for the day while the pretty boy waited outside the door (keeping on ear out for any signs of deceit from the last of the Clovers). Carl rapped his knuckles lightly on the door to alert the older man before stepping out in a civilian version of his normal clothes (his normal outfit, but the shorts have been exchanged for slacks and his cape and hat have been removed to ensure a lack of weaponry).

"So then Captain, shall we be off?" Hibiki gave a single nod before striding down the hallway leading to the front door of the Clover mansion with Carl not too far behind.

 **Later at Mutsuki Manor**

Kagura groaned as he came to, sighing in disappointment when he realized that Hibiki wasn't there to administer the "cure" to his condition yet.

" _Honestly, I don't get why he insists on calling it "an old Mutsuki secret". It's just honey mixed in with cough syrup and herbal tea for crying out loud! Ugh… I hope he gets here soon… my head is killing me."_

Cracking open an eye and wincing at the light streaming in from the open curtains, Kagura mumbled a curse under his breath when he saw that his clock read sixteen past eleven a.m.

" _Damn, I slept in too late. I need to hurry if I want to be ready to go over the plan when the kid gets here. I just hope he's not in the mood for another argument, I'm too hungover to deal with that… for now anyway."_

"Ah, it's good to see that you're already awake sir. I was afraid that I would have to take "desperate measures" in order to rouse you. Here, I managed to whip up a cup of the family remedy for you. We have approximately ten minutes before the Lieutenant arrives." Hibiki handed him the mug and set about gathering Kagura's casual wear (a white tee shirt depicting an eastern style black dragon, a pair of black denim jeans with a studded belt, fingerless black gloves, and finally a pair of white and black converse sneakers).

"Ten minutes? You mean he's not here now?" Kagura's eyes widened as his head cleared thanks to the tonic, his confusion was met with only the slightest nod from his servant, causing him to sigh in irritation.

"Ya know Hibiki, sometimes I just don't understand you." He shook his head as he began exchanging his boxers and tank top for his fresh garb.

"Only sometimes sir? I must be losing my touch." Hibiki chuckled, his eyes closed in his usual sardonic smile.

"Ha ha, you're hilarious." Kagura rolled his eyes as he pulled the shirt over his head.

"Why thank you sir, I'm happy to be of use to you." Hibiki's smile grew larger as he bowed theatrically.

"Whatever, would ya mind going downstairs to let our guest in?" Kagura waited for a few moments for a reply before turning his gaze to the servant… or rather the spot his servant had been.

"I swear if he were a Beastkin he'd be half bat." Kagura went to his restroom to freshen up, shooting his trademark smirk at his reflection once he was done.

"Sir, I'm afraid that our guest wishes to speak with you sooner rather than later. So I humbly suggest that you flirt with yourself after the situation at hand has been dealt with." Hibiki felt a hint of smug satisfaction as his master flinched, obviously he had once again gotten the drop on the Black Knight.

"Alright, he's in the sitting room right? Wait a minute… didn't you tell me that you'd have a list of suitors ready by now last night?" Kagura raised a brow as he eyed his aide, it wasn't like Hibiki to slip up so easily.

"I do indeed have a list of nominees prepared sir, but I'll need some more information in order to narrow it down." Kagura nodded in understanding.

"Fine, let's get to it. The sooner I get my plan together the better."

"I couldn't agree more sir." With that said, the two made their way towards the study, where a certain irritated blonde sat musing over his tricky situation.

" _I do hope the Colonel decides to show up soon, this is a rather dull way to spend one's day off."_

"Hey there kiddo, I was afraid that after last night you wouldn't show up." Carl shot the man a deadpan look, obviously not in the mood for joking at the moment.

"…Right. Anyways, I guess Hibiki's already told you the plan?"

"Only the general outline, I'm afraid that you'll have to fill in the specific details, Colonel." Carl allowed himself a small smirk as he finished, contently drinking in Kagura's irritated look.

" _Of course Hibiki wouldn't tell him the details, can't make things TOO easy for me right?"_

"Well, I just need to ask you a few personal questions before I can give you the detes. You scratch my back and I'll scratch yours. Is that okay, Clover?" Kagura smiled cockily as he spoke, completely confident in his negotiable abilities. Carl sighed and locked eyes with the older man.

"Very well. What are the questions?" Kagura quirked a brow as he assessed his subordinate.

"First off, what are your preferences?"

"You do mean in terms of gender, correct?"

"Duh." Carl's face darkened slightly as he crossed his arms in a gesture of discontent.

"I am strictly interested in women Colonel. Next?" Kagura's expression turned serious, from here on out it was strictly business.

"Do you have any preferences when it comes to *ahem* race?" Carl began to eye him warily, clearly he was caught off guard by the question.

"What do you mean Colonel Mutsuki?" The blonde pushed his glasses up once more, as they had slipped slightly.

"I mean, do you have any problems dating a Beastkin or an artificial human? " Kagura gulped as the young man's gaze turned even colder.

" _That expression… he's WAY too much like his father. If I didn't notice his loneliness when I did, we may have had another madman on our hands."_

"Of course not. Don't ask such stupid questions, Mutsuki." Carl's voice was void of emotion and was much too similar to his father's for comfort.

"Alright, last question. Have you ever had romantic feelings for someone before?" Kagura kept a stern expression as Carl's face tinted pink slightly.

"With all due respect Colonel, I do believe that is none of your business." Kagura frowned severely as Carl spoke, the kid wasn't gonna weasel his way outta answering the most important question of all.

"Look kid, I'm not doing this because I _have_ to, I'm doing this because I _want_ to honestly help you. I can't do that if you're not willing to cooperate with me." Carl's eyes narrowed.

"What exactly are you trying to help me with Colonel?" Carl quirked his own brow, curious and skeptical of the Black Knight's intent.

"I'm gonna get you a girlfriend Clover. We both know that you've been lonely for the past few years. I don't want to see you waste your life in meaningless self-imposed solitude. Despite what you may think, I actually do care about my subordinates." Carl stared at the Colonel evenly, obviously unimpressed with his explanation.

"And what makes you think I'm lonely Colonel?" Carl kept his emotions carefully concealed behind the cold mask he had perfected over the last few years.

"Last night you said that no one remembered it was your birthday, why is that?" Kagura allowed the concern he felt to show on his features, intent on getting the younger male to open up. Carl tensed and looked away, the faintest hint of pain etched onto his otherwise vacant expression.

"Clover, please just answer my question. Your friends don't seem like the forgetful type." Carl's face was still aimed towards the carpet, his frame shaking slightly as he gripped the arms of his chair.

"…I don't have friends anymore." Kagura's eyes widened, he couldn't possibly be hearing right. Carl's friends had never given up on him, not even when he'd sided with his father during the war.

"What the hell do you mean? I know damn well that you've had the most loyal friends a man could ask for. Even though you've exiled yourself, they must have kept in touch." Kagura's expression darkened severely.

"Oh they tried, up until three years ago." Carl looked up once more, a mirthless smile etched onto his lips.

"What are you saying?" Kagura swept his eyes over the blonde, silently prompting an immediate response from him.

"You wouldn't understand Colonel." Carl's expression once again lost all signs of emotion, save for the slightest hint of pain hidden in his blue orbs.

"Try me." Kagura once again quirked a brow, his need for explanation temporarily driving back his previous ire. Carl let out an empty chuckle, briefly closing his eyes and averting his face downwards, only to resume his staring contest with his superior immediately afterwards.

"Have you ever been… overwhelmed Colonel?" Carl was searching his purple orbs intensely, wanting nothing but the absolute truth from the Ikarugan.

"Overwhelmed by what? There are a lot of things that can overwhelm a man Clover, you're gonna have to be specific." Kagura kept his emotions guarded, unwilling to let the youth in just yet.

"The undeniable happiness of others… has it ever overwhelmed you?" Carl kept up his analytical stare, unnervingly similar to his father in his manner of conduct. Kagura remembered his time just after the Ikarugan Civil War, when the smiles and laughs of those around him had turned him to drink and constant romancing in order to shield himself from the guilt and depression brought on by his participation in such wanton bloodshed.

"Yes. I know all too well what it's like to suffer under the unassuming happiness of your friends Clover, that doesn't give you the right to shut yourself off from them. That's what happened isn't it? One day you just couldn't take it anymore. Everyone else was _so_ happy while you were stricken with guilt and grief, so you just up and shut down one day. You decided never to let anyone in again because you couldn't live with yourself if you ended up losing someone close to you once more. Well, am I wrong?" Kagura took in the younger man's stunned expression, the youth clearly hadn't expected such a speech from what he viewed as a "no good Casanova". Carl's expression morphed into his variation of his father's cynical smirk, causing both of the brunettes to tense unconsciously.

"Well done Colonel Mutsuki, I'm sufficiently impressed. I never thought that _you_ of all people would be able to understand my actions and the meaning behind them. So tell me, what makes you so different hmm?" Carl quirked his own brow as his vacant baby blues locked onto the violet hued eyes of the Black Knight, his smirk sticking to his lips like glue.

"Different? What the hell are you getting at Clover?" Kagura's concern bled through his otherwise perfected poker face, all of his usual coolness being tested by the youth's rather unsettling behavior.

"Oh, didn't I tell you? Every single one of my "friends" tried something similar to your little scheme. It was always, "You shouldn't lock yourself away Carl, it's not good for you" or, "Come on Little Carl, I'm sure that this time you'll have fun" or even, "Master Carl, it is high time you left your grief behind and began seeking happiness for the sake of your own future". So tell me Colonel, if the people who were closest to me couldn't make me happy, then why are you even bothering with this trivial attempt at matchmaking?" Carl's smugness oozed from his voice, causing frustration to rear its ugly head in the mind of Kagura

"Your friends still care about you Clover, I can't count how many times I've heard Makoto asking around the office about you. I'm trying to be your friend here Clover, the least you can do is give me a chance. I care about ya kid, let me help you. Please, we both know you can't go on like this." Kagura smiled softly as he continued to lock eyes with the increasingly uncomfortable blonde, happy to see that his words were having a visible effect on the Lieutenant.

"Tch. I can "go on" just fine the way I am thank you. I believe this is the part where I bid you good day, Colonel Mutsuki." As Carl made to stand, Kagura motioned to Hibiki who quickly restrained the younger male with a rope produced from god knows where.

"I'm afraid that one cannot simply dismiss themselves from a meeting with the Head of the Duodecim, Lieutenant. You'll have to wait for his permission in order to leave." Hibiki gave Carl a closed eyed apologetic smile, the blonde's angry glare bouncing harmlessly off of his eyelids.

"Colonel. I insist that you order my release, I have important matters to attend to. Away from both you and this idiotic plan of yours." Carl spoke with venom clear in his icy voice, his eyes glowering furiously into the brunette's calm orbs.

"Sorry kid, but you're not getting outta this. I'm not asking for much, (Carl's firm rebuttal was halted by Hibiki's hand over his lips, earning the servant an even fiercer glare from the blonde) just one date. That's it, just one date with one girl of my choosing. If you can look me in the eyes afterwards, and tell me without any hesitation whatsoever that the social contact didn't make you feel even just a tiny bit better… then I'll back off and you'll never have to deal with me interfering with your personal life again, do we have a deal?" Kagura stood and walked around his desk to the chair holding the irate youth, motioning Hibiki to undo his bonds. Carl glared at the older male as he rubbed his wrists, sighing tiredly as Kagura extended his hand. Firmly grasping the offered appendage (a little tighter than necessary mind you) Carl shook hands with the brunette.

"Very well Colonel, it would seem as though I have no choice but to agree. Yes, we have a deal." Carl swiftly turned on his heel and exited the room, Hibiki shadowing him every step of the way.

"Great! I'll let you know when your date is ready, I'll have you set up with Mrs. Right in no time kid!" Carl snorted before he shut the door behind him with Hibiki in tow. Kagura could pat himself on the back, his confidence oozing from every pore… until he suddenly remembered that he had no idea how to get any of the girls on the list to agree to go out with the introverted youth.

" _Damn, there's always something… Oh well, guess I'll just have to improvise on this one. Let's just hope that Luna's in a better mood this time. I don't want to fly courtesy of "Air Platinum" any time in the future._

 **AN:** This is more NoOneImportantHere's work than my own, I was unsure how to write an Angsty!Carl, and turned to him for guidance. Several of these lines and setups are his, not mine. I will however strive to improve and not to rely on others as much as I have been lately, because doing so makes me feel useless. I would like to take a moment to thank him sincerely for looking over the various revisions of this story and helping me polish this chapter. Thank you to l3largus, Taromaru, Tremenvan, and my IRL friend Carlos for the reviews! To any and all trolls who reviewed since last chapter: PATATO! (You get it right? ;D). I hope to please more of you in the coming days (by the way, I am currently writing some shotasquirrel smut for Adult Fanfiction, so I may be slow on the updates). Until next time, R&R Please!


	4. First Intermission

"No. Way." Luna's face was completely serious, her deadpan look reminding Kagura of another blonde who'd grown up too fast in his opinion.

"Come on Luna, I swear it'll be worth your while! I mean have you seen Clover these days? He's turned into a great catch!" Kagura's smile practically oozed desperation, he couldn't believe he was having this much trouble convincing the young mage to go on a date with his newfound charge.

"Yeah, cause going out with a living iceberg is _exactly_ the way I wanted to spend my Saturday night." Luna rolled her eyes as she finished, too drained after a day of studying with Nine to deal with the annoying pervert. Sena thought that now would be the best time to throw in his own two cents.

"Luna, I think you have him confused with Jin. Carl's more like a wet blanket. A wet blanket with a prize winning smile who occasionally happens to smell like he just walked out of a scented candle shop." Luna shot her former "roommate" an annoyed look as he smiled in his usual laid back fashion.

"Clover doesn't smile, he smirks. Not even Doctor Litchi or Master Bang can get that guy to give a real smile anymore. I bet he wouldn't even show up anyway unless you dragged him there. Or you dragged his desk with him." Kagura smiled confidently, his positive attitude returning in full swing.

"I can say with complete one hundred-percent certainty that Carl will be there." Luna looked thoughtful for a moment, before sighing and opening her mouth to finally agree…

"How?" Sena gave Kagura a skeptical stare, completely derailing the conversation.

" _Damn it Sena don't start asking questions! I shoulda known he'd cause trouble, he never can leave well enough alone when it comes to Luna's love life. I swear, either back off or get the balls to match her up with someone you approve of already! Seriously, how can something this simple be so difficult?!"_

"Because he gave me his word that he'd be there!"

"..."

"..."

Both blondes glanced between one another before giving the Black Knight a synchronized blank expression. Sighing in exasperation, Kagura did his best to begin salvaging the situation.

"...Trust me. That's big news coming from a Clover, they _never_ go back on their word."

"Why are you even asking me? I tried giving Carl a shot years ago, but he just couldn't handle all THIS!" Luna closed her eyes and grinned cockily as she motioned to her breasts (B cup) and her supple thighs.

" _Can't say I don't envy him, that is a wicked figure your packing there babe. Too bad I can't steal ya myself."_

"Wasn't it more like Carl dumped you for his work and politely asked to go separate ways? It's not like either one of you was very serious about your so called "relationship". In fact, I swear I never even saw him even _glance_ at you _that_ way." Sena's cynical smirk reminded Kagura far too much of Hibiki.

"...You really know how to make a girl feel special, Sena." Luna's exasperated look and sarcastic tone conveyed her feelings on the comment perfectly.

"It's one of my talents." Sena's lips quickly formed a shit eating grin that would make Terumi jealous as he reclined on the sofa and rested his crossed ankles on the coffee table.

"Look, would one date be so bad? I really think Carl needs some spark in his life and who has more spark then you?! You're full of spark! It's practically raining spark off of you, Luna!" Kagura gestured wildly to Luna's entire being from head to toe, doing his damndest to brown nose his way into getting his desired answer from the young woman.

"Well, I am pretty amazing." Luna folded her arms behind her head and puffed out her chest in pride (much to Kagura's perverted delight).

"Humble Luna. Remember to be humble." Sena spoke with his grin still in place, his lazily half lidded eyes only adding to the overall smart ass tone that currently enveloped him.

"And maybe Clover is a little good looking." Luna ignored Sena in favor of losing herself in her mind's eye, her face flushing as she put her index finger between her teeth.

"That's not what the chart that Lady Nine found said. According to that you'd, and I quote, "totally pounce and proceed to slam Carl insid-" Luna quickly slapped her hand over Sena's mouth rather harshly, the sound of the action echoing as Kagura briefly winced in sympathy for the younger man.

"You're not allowed to talk anymore!" Luna looked at Sena angrily while Kagura looked on with his trademark smirk.

"...Fine. I guess that I MIGHT be okay with Clov-...Carl. If you can actually get him to go on a date with me then...maybe I'll consider it." Luna gave the Black Knight another flat look, clearly meaning that this was a "take it or leave it" offer.

"Sooooo is that a yes?" Kagura quirked a brow and allowed the hope he felt to manifest in his voice as he stared evenly into her heart shaped green orbs.

"...Fine." Luna sighed once more as the Ikarugan pumped his fist into the air dramatically.

"You're not gonna regret this Plat! You're about to make two men very happy!" Luna smiled contently as Kagura stroked her ego, happy to be the center of attention for anyone… Especially if it was a hotty like Carl.

"Just two? I think Luna's gonna need a whole country if you want to handle her ego-ACK!" Sena's rolling eyes quickly stilled and widened in panic as Luna put him into a rather brutal headlock, Kagura took the opportunity to leave before the irate blonde could change her mind.

"Now look what ya did Sena, ya scared him off before Luna could even ask where the date's gonna be!"

"Hey! It's not my fault that you got so scary, it _is_ part of your "natural charm" after all!"

"Why I oughta!"

"What in tarnation are you kids up to now?" Jubei looked tired and annoyed, obviously the two had roused him from one of his beloved cat naps.

"L-lord Jubei! Luna's SO sorry, but Sena's being a TOTAL jerk and-"

"HEY! Stop blaming me for everything!"

"Well if you di-!" Luna and Sena literally froze into a solid block of ice as an irate Nine walked into view. Sighing tiredly, the sorceress turned her eyes to her husband.

"Mutsuki left a letter for me at the guild, do you have any idea what it means?" She handed the parchment over to the yawning cyclops, who quickly put two and two together.

"Luna was yappin' about a date or something when I came to, maybe it's those details that she wanted." The feline placed the letter on the coffee table in front of the frozen blondes, looking at his wife lovingly.

"So darlin, care to join this old cat for some good ole fashioned cuddlin?" Nine laughed heartily as she scooped her husband into her bosom.

"Mr. Kitty, I would be delighted to cuddle with you. Now children" Nine turned her head briefly to acknowledge the pair, "We do hope that spending some time together will help to "cool" your heads about this whole situation." The two let out a groan at their guardian's lame pun, the mage simply letting out another vigorous snicker as she entered the bedroom that she and her beloved Mr. Kitty shared, shutting the door behind her with a heel.

"…."

"…"

"Luna?"

"Shut it Sena, as soon as we're out, I'm kickin your ass."

"*sigh* I thought as much. So, ya really gonna go on a date with him?"

"Duh! I mean, why wouldn't Luna give that (smoking hot) idiot a second chance? I'm a very considerate woman."

"Suuure you are…" Sena rolled his eyes and smirked as he remembered that only their faces had been left unfrozen (in order for them to breathe).

"Sena, don't you dare…" Luna growled as she saw Sena's smirk transform into another shit eating grin.

" _And so it begins…"_ The spirit of Trinity sighed as she gazed upon her children, slightly concerned as Sena's grin and eagerness to tease his sister was far too reminiscent of his father.

" _Kazuma... If only you hadn't been corrupted…I miss you so much…"_

 **AN:** I once again thank NoOneImportantHere for his generosity! I needed help with the story and he was kind enough to give me an example of how Luna should be characterized (as well as once again looking over the revisions, thank you my friend). About half of this chapter was his idea, but don't worry I will be working on the next chapter solo. Since I have nothing but troll reviews to respond to this time I say: Zu'u lokaal hi pah! Out of curiosity, are any other authors (or non-trolls in general) reading this? If so, please leave a review (that's getting kinda repetitive, but I always hope for feedback on my work). Until we meet again, Zu'u out!

BTW thank you to NOIH, l3largus and Youmomagon for taking the time to message me, I really appreciate it!


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